My new years resolution for this year has been one that is a constant challenge.  I said that this was going to be the year that I was going to free myself from insecurity and self loathing. But it is something that I have yet to conquer and continue to struggle with on a daily basis because it runs much deeper than just a New Years Resolution.

Somewhere along the way a lie was sewn into my heart. A lie that took root in my soul and it continues to convince me that I am not good enough for one reason or another. And it deceives me into thinking thoughts like “Well if I just had ____ then I would be ____.”

Lately, I have really been trying to find happiness with who I am and what I have because the truth is that everybody is somebody’s green grass. Now what do i mean by that? I mean that most people are somewhat green with envy because of something someone else has. We look at the green grass on the other side and we are foolish enough to think that if our grass were like so and so’s grass then our life would be much better. And we create these blades. These blades of green grass that strip, tear, and cut us down to believe that we aren’t good enough.

There is a single girl who looks at her married friend and thinks to herself, “Oh to have a man that loved me that I could lay down next to every night.” And that married friend looks at her single friend after a night of fighting with her husband and thinks “How nice would it be to have an evening to myself or to spend my money on  exactly what I wanted to spend my money on.”

There is a guy who works all the time and is slightly overweight and thinks “I wish I had more time to spend in the gym.” And Mr. Muscles is looking at that guy thinking I’m at a dead end job, I have too much time on my hands and not enough money.”

There is a couple that lives in a single wide trailer that is desperately trying to save for a house and they look at their friend’s post on Facebook that say’s “We’re homeowners!” and they think to themselves “We are never going to get there.” Then six months down the road those new homeowners are thinking “Holy crap this house is a money pit. Why did we do this? If only we could go back to the days of having no mortgage.”

There is a girl who looks at her cute little friend and thinks “What I wouldn’t give to be a size 6” And her skinny little friend looks back at her and thinks to herself, “I would kill for her hair. Oh my gah!”

There is a couple who has yet to have children of their own and they look at their friends with two beautiful children and think “Oh to have the joy of a child.” And those friends are looking back at them and thinking “Oh to just be able to take off out of town for the weekend at the drop of a hat.”

And so it goes that we always want what we can’t or don’t have instead of being thankful for what we do have. The moral of the story is to…

…be happy with you.
…be happy with yourself.
…be happy with the gifts, talents, and time that you have.
…find joy in this season.
…look at the glass half full.
…pull out the positives.

Why? Because I promise, there are probably other people who are looking at you and they are only seeing the positive things that you fail to see in yourself. And they themselves are probably saying “Man, if only I had such and such’s job, or salary, or kids, or husband, or house or dress size or hair or whatever!!!” The list could go on. They are wishing that they in some way had what you have and you are across the inter webs thinking the same thing.

Love who you are. Find your own blades of green. And when you get to a place of contentment where you can say to yourself, “I am the green grass,” if you are inclined to believe in a Heavenly Father, you will probably hear him whisper to you, “My dear child I AM the green grass.” And suddenly the desires you long for will shift from being focused on others to being focused on Him.

And just a side note…Stop drawing conclusions about someone’s life, happiness, or success based on what they post on social media. Most of the time it will only leave feelings of discontentment in your own life. And really,  it is all in some way a façade, this whole social media thing.