My sweet sweet little girl, you are three months old and it sounds really cliche but I’m going to ask it anyway…where did the time go? It literally seems like just yesterday I heard you cry for the first time. And then I blinked and now you’re three months old. And I know when you turn 3 I will look back at this and read it and think “Ha. I was such a silly new mommy. Three months is nothing. How about three years?” And I don’t even want to think about how it will feel when you’re 30. I know it is going to fly by. It is flying by. Every single day I secretly wish that I could stop time in it’s tracks but I can’t. So instead I take photos…lots and lots of photos because it is my one way of attempting to freeze a moment. But like many things, this whole time thing is a double edged sword. If I stopped time today, I would miss the beautiful moments that wait for me tomorrow. And yesterday, if my wish to stop time had come true, I would have robbed myself of today’s beauty. Some would say it’s a lose lose situation but I think it’s a win win. 

I saw a blog post from another mom today. It had her baby’s first two months perfectly outlined moment by moment complete with pictures. I see other moms that have their baby’s monthly photos and milestones perfectly captured with their little one laying on the cutest blanket ever found on Etsy. This is in no way meant to shame those mamas. My hats off to them. In fact I wish that I could do that. I am supposed to do that…it is expected of me…to be the perfect documenter. As a photographer, it is my profession. But lately, time escapes me. So this isn’t meant to compare myself to them (*this is your mama talking* comparing yourself to others is something you should never ever do), but more to ask for your permission or ask for a pass, if you will. 
Is it ok, baby girl, if I take a dozen photos of you everyday but I don’t ever print them?

Wait…first things first…is it ok if I take a dozen photos of you everyday? (I’m gonna take that smile, that you just gave me as you sit at my feet, as a yes.)

Is it ok if I post little snippets of your life onto social media but I don’t post EVERY SINGLE THING?

Is it ok if sometimes, instead of curating the perfect blog post, if I just sit and watch you sleep?

Is it ok if I take your monthly photo a few days after your month birthday? You were born on the 14th maybe if I could get an extension, like say the 16th or 17th?

And is it ok if social media never sees those photos? 

Is it ok if I keep a lot of things just between me and you and maybe your daddy? Is it ok if I don’t tell the world everything about you? 

Is it ok if, somedays when I write in my journal, if I just say “today was a long one.”?

Baby girl, if I’m given permission to let some of these things slide….to let some of these expectations go, I promise I will make it my goal to, instead of perfectly documenting your life, I will focus on being perfectly present. I want to document your life. I want to remember every single thing about every single day with you. I just may not have it all organized and pretty for the world to see on my blog or Instagram. But it’s on my phone. It’s in my journal.  It’s on my camera roll and its etched on my heart. I want to live for you sweet girl, not for the ‘likes’. You are my scope now. I see the world through you. Not through social media. Is that ok?